


Addiction

by JackNoahKerr



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Gen, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackNoahKerr/pseuds/JackNoahKerr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She received a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in the mail two days before Christmas last year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Addiction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [julieofthewatertribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julieofthewatertribe/gifts).



> _“I have scars on my hands from touching certain people… Certain heads, certain colours and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on me.”_
> 
> _— J.D. Salinger_

\---

She received a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in the mail two days before Christmas last year.

There was no return address, but she didn’t need one to figure out who dropped the package by her door. There was a note, scrunched up inside the envelope, and the handwriting on it looked like chicken scrawl.

_Some things never change._

She ripped open that pack of fruity 520’s and pouted slightly at the rows of pink hearts carved into the cigarette filter. The Zippo lighter slotted next to it got tapped out, dropping into the center of her palm. It looked breathtakingly beautiful as a dash of sunset spilled onto the cold metal.

 _Thought these would suit you_ , said the note.

 _Dai-chan, you idiot_ , she thought.

—-

She had learned that he hated the smell of cigarette from the way he scrunched his nose when he entered the house.  _One of these days_ , he had said.  _One of these days I’m going to stop smoking._

She didn’t remember the moment when she first drew on a cigarette, but he must had been there. He had been there to witness all her firsts; her first memory, her first near-death experience, her first love, her first kiss, and her first heartbreak. It was like a bad habit.

 _That’s what people call an addiction_ , he joked as he claimed his usual spot on her couch.

 _No, you’re just addicted to my mother’s cooking_ , she retorted as she microwaved some leftovers.

Yet, in the end, she was the one who became addicted. Not to him, but to the cigarettes.

Tobacco was bitter. She couldn’t taste pleasure in the nicotine, but on nights when she couldn’t fall asleep, she would open the window and light a Marlboro red. As the familiar smell filled her room, she would take a long drag and exhale a massive cloud of smoke, watching it weave out and rise to join the ever present haze of pollution that loomed over Tokyo.  _It tastes just like him_ , she thought as she twirled the stick between her fingers.

—-

She thought he didn’t know what “520” stood for when he bought the pack. And that was fine, because she didn’t want the gift to mean anything more than what it was.

She carried those cigarettes and that lighter with her whenever she went. When she itched for a smoke, she would run her fingers over the fancy filters inside her pocket and read his gift in Braille. She wasn’t sure if he would buy her another pack of 520's when this one ran out, and she didn’t dare to ask.

There were still 11 sticks left in the box by the time Christmas came around again. She found another unmarked envelope by her door. This time, she didn’t even need to open it to know what was inside.

She dropped the sealed envelope on her kitchen table and smiled.

If only one of them said something to the other, then maybe they could have had it all. Now, the doubt in her mind cleared, but it was too late. Some feelings weren’t meant to stay.

 _Stupid Dai-chan, I don’t need this anymore_ , she thought with a melancholic smile.

_I already quit, a long time ago._

**Author's Note:**

> To Julie. Baby, I’m sorry for taking so long to reply to our RP. -pats- I wish we talked more. Merry Christmas!
> 
> For reference, “520” is an abbreviation for “I love you” in Chinese.
> 
> Thanks to coach-riko and miracle-shooter from Tumblr for betaing this.


End file.
